What the?
by nessabutterfly
Summary: A collection of drabbles based on unlikely scenarios.
1. Beryl Wants to Catch them All!

Prompt: Queen Beryl stops trying to take over the world and decides to collect Pokemon instead.

Beryl was reprimanding her generals for failing her once again, when a small creature popped it's head out from the collar of Jadite's uniform jacket.

"What IS that thing?" she asked in surprise.

"Your majesty," began Jadite with a deep bow. "It is called a squirtle." He drew the creature from his jacket and with uncertainty, held it out for her to examine.

"But what is it?" she demanded, beckoning him and the creature forward.

"It is a Pokemon," supplied Nephrite. "They've become quite popular with the young people. They collect them and use them to battle for more."

"Having innocent creatures battle each other for selfish gain?" mused the Queen. "That sounds like my sort of game. Forget those pitiful Sailor Senshi for a while and find me the Pokemon. I want them all. I must collect them all!"


	2. Tuxedo Brony

Prompt: Mamoru decides to shirk his responsibilities in favor of becoming a full time Bronie.

He meant to watch the news. Every night, he watched the news in order to catch up on any crimes he had missed while he was studying, and if they were urgent enough, he headed out to take care of the bad guys. Of course, trouble seemed to find Usagi, so he usually heard her shrieks near the beginning of any given battle. Still, he had found the occasional chance to prove the hero through his news watching habit.

Anyway, on this particular night, he must have hit the wrong channel, because it wasn't the news that flickered to life on the TV screen, but rather, a group of frolicking ponies. He should have changed the channel right away, but something about the childish show reminded him of Usagi. Within minutes, he was absorbed in the story-line.

A few hours later, he heard Usagi's cry for help. A youma was attacking, and, though she had super-powers, she still seemed to need her encouragement before she could succeed. Well, let her try on her own this once. It would be good for her. Besides, the My Little Pony marathon wasn't over; they were only showing episode twelve.


	3. Nuns can't cure Jealousy

Prompt: Haruka joins a nunnery

Haruka had seen Michiru talking with an attractive young woman. This had happened one too many times; Haruka's jealousy got the better of her and she marched up to her girlfriend, demanding an explanation.

"I was just talking, Haruka. Your jealousy is making me crazy though." Michiru ran a hand through her thick aquamarine waves and shook her head sadly. "Maybe we should take a break while you deal with this jealousy issue."

"What are you talking about?" Haruka demanded. "Why would we take a break?"

"I just can't handle another of your outbursts. Give me a call when you can control yourself."

Michiru shook Haruka's possessive hand off of her arm and walked slowly away.

Haruka stood in shock for a few moments, then yelled at her lover's disappearing back, "Fine then- I'll join a convent!"

The only response was Michiru's melodic laughter as she continued on her way.


	4. My Heart Beats for Umino

Prompt: What if Umino was the heartthrob of the series instead of Mamoru

As he walked down the hall, suddenly Umino was surrounded by a throng of screaming girls.

"Umino, is it true that you got a 99 on last week's test?" one of them wailed.

He nodded. "I was trying to be chivalrous. I know Ami prides herself in having the best grades, so I threw the last question for her."

"What a man!" one of the girls shrieked, feigning a swoon.

"Umino, would you help me study?" begged one of the onlookers. "My mom wants to send me to a cram school, but I'd much rather cram with you," she stated with a wink.

"Can I study with you too?"

"Me too!"

"Ladies, ladies, one at a time. There's enough of Umino to go around." Shifting his bag oh his shoulder, he offered his arm to the girl who had made the first request. "Come along now, sweetie. Calculus is calling our names."


	5. Sailor Kamekichi

Prompt: What if Kamekichi had a bigger role in Sailor Moon?

"Oh Kamekichi, you adorable turtle, you!" cooed Usagi as she stepped into Crown Karaoke. "Oh, and hi Motoki," she added, pulling out her pass. "Do you mind if I borrow Kamekichi for a while? I need an audience while I sing."

Motoki laughed as he fished the turtle out of his tank. Lately, Usagi had been getting pretty attached to the little reptile. She accepted the creature and ran down the hall with a wave.

Once inside the secret headquarters in the Crown's basement, Usagi set Kamekichi down on the stage. "Ok, go ahead," she prompted.

A moment later, the turtle had transformed into a young man with a head of mossy green hair. "Ahh," he sighed, stretching his arms above his head. "It gets so cramped in that little body!"

"Poor Kamekichi," Usagi responded with mock sympathy. "You don't have to go to school all day; you get to lie around and relax while Motoki fawns over you. Such a hard life." She dumped her school bag out on the table as if to prove her point.

Kamekichi pulled out a chair and sat down beside her while they waited for the other girls to show up. He drummed his fingers on the table anxiously. "When do I get to go out and help you guys with the youma?" he burst out, jumping from his seat.

"Chill out, turtle boy," snapped Usagi, looking up from the English homework she was puzzling her way through. "We still don't know why you suddenly became a human last week. Ami is still doing research, so settle down before I take you back to your tank."

Kamekichi sat down quietly. Motoki treated him well, but he much preferred hanging out with the senshi in human form. He would wait patiently while Ami researched his sudden transformation.


	6. Time for a Vacation

Prompt: Pluto decides to ditch the time gate and go on vacation

Pluto rubbed her bare arms as a cool breeze blew through the time gate.

"Why is it always so cold in here?" she asked the empty chamber. "And why is it always so lonely?" This she whispered to herself.

She paced back and forth across the room, peering into the time gate with each pass. "All quiet."

Suddenly, she stopped and turned on her heel, striding purposefully toward the gate. "It's always all quiet," she yelled into the gate. Making a snap decision, she took hold of her time staff and plunged the blade into the gate, freezing time with the simple motion.

Time could hold just fine. She was going somewhere warm for a while; maybe Hawaii?


	7. Usagi goes Gaga

Prompt: Oh noes! Usagi and Lady Gaga have switched bodies! Whatever shall happen?

One moment, Usagi was sitting in her bedroom, reading the stack of manga she had swiped from Rei, and the next, she was on a stage, wearing a ridiculous outfit, with blinding lights shining in her eyes.

"What the?" she began, stunned when her voice was amplified through the large auditorium. A chorus of laughter erupted from the huge, but invisible crowd.

"Um, hi?" she tried again.

"Hi!" the crowd echoed back.

Usagi's eyes were adjusting to the lights and she glanced around the stage, taking in the band behind her, the back-up singers, and the elaborate, sparkling set. Looking down, she found a mic in her hand.

"Sooooooo-" she began tentatively. "You're all here to hear me sing, huh?" The applause, cat calls, and hoots from the audience confirmed her fears.

"All right. Hit it," she motioned to the band behind her and they started playing Poker Face.

Oh, thought Usagi. I know this song! She opened her mouth and was surprised when the voice that rang out in the auditorium was not her own, but that of Lady Gaga.


	8. Farmer's Tan

Prompt: Minako ditches her ideas of being a model or idol and decides to do a work-abroad program on an organic farm.

Snapping a third fingernail in an hour, Minako threw down her shovel and swiped the back of her dirty hand across her forehead.

"I'm exhausted!" she exclaimed, dropping to a rugged bench alongside the garden plot. "When do we get lunch?"

"Lunch?" questioned one of the other teens who wielded a hoe in her blistered hands. "It's only 9am; we just started!"

With a moan, Minako pulled her trademark red bow from her hair and began to braid it, pulling it tightly from her face. Using the ribbon, she wound the braid around her head like a crown and tied it in place.

"Who's idea was this anyway?" she questioned loudly, staring daggars across the field of vegetable seedlings at her blue haired friend.

"You said you were sick of how materialistic most models were and you need a change." reminded Ami with a shrug. "If nothing else, you'll get a great tan!"

"Tan?" shrieked Minako with disgust. She rolled up her sleeve and showed her friend the beginnings of a gorgeous farmer's tan.


End file.
